Five Songs To Get You Through The Night
By Devin Bambrick
So let’s say, hypothetically, you’ve found yourself at a party that’s teetering on the boundary between raucous and righteous. You’re feeling pretty frisky, having cashed in your paper on post-pastiche and pre-colonial gestures in Montesquieu’s grade school notebook doodles just hours before.
Good and familiar folks are milling around with their plastic red cups and plastered red faces, and you’re standing by the laptop that’s sputtering out the host’s playlists to no great effect. Nothing inspiring. You nod along politely, suppressing a vomit-tinged burp swelling at your esophagus.
“Paaaartayy!” You yell, a little too loudly, just as the craft of the party hits a sudden air pocket of silence. A passing acquaintance nods politely and smiles a smile of two shots vodka, lemon wedge, pity to taste.
Now! If only something could activate these sloshing molecules! We need some catalyst, some injection to spark some swerve and verve into these stumblers and grumblers. In a word, you want these cats to dance. Thankfully, you’ve got a nano with a potent fiver pulsing to go, a playlist like an animal caged, crazed, and raring. Its powerful contents?
*Los Campesinos- “You! Me! Dancing!” The perfect first gesture on any dance playlist, this song starts with an unassuming and quiet lull of electric guitar, so calm that all of your friends will think the party’s died. But when the track develops with an orchestral build, tension developing with every second, your drunken companions will find themselves transfixed, knees buckling in time, their patience tested, their nerves tickled, their hearts titillated, excruciating, until a sudden and religious pop bursts the song’s hymen with its glorious, pounding hook and stomping drums. When it’s joined by a rocking glockenspiel, you know you’re in good and capable hands.
*MSTRKRFT- “Easy Love.” It’s got our favourite instrument (cowbell) and sounds like the Platonic form of a hipster electronica song, its synth confrontational and winning, its lyrics vocoder-aided and cheesy. MSTRKRFT pulls out all of the tricks of mixing to great effect. Alright, don’t get too excited there, champ. I haven’t seen that move since my freshman year, and the kid who invented had to go on forced medical leave.
*Yelle- “Je Veux Te Voir.” As we have learned from our friends Justice, Daft Punk, and Jacques Derrida, the French know more about booty-shaking than any other nation. That’s why their streets are so wide. For booty-shaking and German tanks. Sounding like some kind of nuclear-powered robot cheerleading squad, Yelle (birthname Julie Budet) is the kind of music you play when everyone’s already going, to take it to that next level of aerobic exertion. The song’s final act is like a dancefloor air raid. What’s best about this song is that this song is impossible to sing along to, putting the focus on the boogie-down.
*Junior Boys- “In The Morning.” Now here’s the song to help you make your move on that beautiful soul across the room, the one wearing a sweet yellow headband. I read that in The Quest that this song is so sexy that it has been banned in all islamofascist countries. Somewhere between unnerving and satisfying, punctuated by breathy moans and suggestive lyrics—“too young” is the song’s refrain—this song will make anything you do seem subtle.
*Justice- “Love-Stoned.” It’s almost unfair, allowing Justin Timberlake and Justice to join forces, an overpowering mixture of dancefloor expertise. Adding a ballsy string section to our boy’s already overpowering single, and accentuating the song’s breakdown with simple piano accompaniment, the Justice remix puts Love-Stoned into the realm of the histrionic. Get out your b-boy and b-girl skills, pop it, lock it, do whatever you can. You can do no wrong with this playing.
Now your party’s started. Pink would be proud. Next week we’ll be discussing Final Fantasy, The Books, and Daft Punk’s Homework.